Sunday, April 19, 2009

I truly am sorry.

I just realized my last blog was kind of harsh.
I just want things back to how they used to be.
And it used to be me and Lauren were best friends.
I need that, and miss it.
Please forgive me Lauren.

I'm sorry.

So I guess this is my apology to everyone, but specifically Lauren, for being the person i have been.
My life has been really stupid lately.
I've messed up altogether too much, which has led to me
Just not being the same.
I find it hard to be genuinely happy.
I find it hard to laugh with my friends.
I find it hard to be the old me.
I'm such a different person now and I hate it.
So, I'm sorry for being the way I've been.
I'm trying so hard to change. It just feels impossible.


It feels like everything I do is wrong nowadays.
Even when it's really not, people have the tendency to blame it all on me.
And I have the tendency to accept that.
It's like I'm just there, so why not use me and make me feel like crap?
Yeah. Recently I've made my fair share of mistakes.
But it's not all my fault, so stop making it out to be just that.
I have feelings too, you're not the only one.
So while I'm busy apologizing, be sure you are too.
I'm really hurting inside.
I need some of this stuff taken off of my shoulders,
But everyone just keeps putting more and more on me.


So yes, I am terribly sorry your life sucks.
I'm so sorry one of your friends is mad at you,
Or whatever your problem is.
But I didn't do anything to cause that.
So stop acting like it is.

I hope you know what I'm getting at, Lauren.
I haven't been the only one acting different.
Lately, you've given me "attitude," and it makes me feel like crap.
Which leads to me feeling depressed, which leads to me thinking of
Other depressing things, then I'm just stuck like that.
Yeah, I've been moody.
But it's not because it's "that time of the month" or whatever.
I've gone through too much lately, and if you just wanna give up on me,
My "best friend," then go ahead.
I've had plenty of people do that to me.
I get what I deserve.
Bye.